What do you wish you would have known when you were younger? When I asked that question to Darlyne Bailey, professor and dean of the Graduate School of Social Work and Social Research at Bryn Mawr college, she told me that she wished she’d known years ago that it was okay for her to be totally and completely herself:

“I’ve always brought the whole person to what I do, but I did it with some trepidation," she explained. "I was always wondering if I laughed too much or if I hugged too much, or as I was told once, that my heart was just so wide open I was going to get hurt."

Darlyne says that she used to spend a lot of time trying to determine how to "cover herself up”--how to let only the good in and out. But as she discovered, if you close up too much, even the good stuff won’t be able to get in--forget letting it out!

“Being your whole self is really about accepting who you are and spending time with yourself,” she advised with a smile. “It’s about taking time to discern what your essence is, who you are and why you are.”

Of course, who we are is constantly changing because our lives are constantly changing. That’s why Darlyne advises taking time to check in with yourself to make sure that all of you is really showing up.

Watch my chat with Darlyne Bailey below: