Here's an incredible lesson from one of the world's greatest negotiators and mediators, Jan Eliasson, who is currently the U.N. Special Envoy in Darfur and former president of the U.N. General Assembly. In the midst of debilitating conflict between Iran and Iraq, in which almost a million people died, he was expecting the two countries to return to their original borders. Instead, "they made reference not to international law, but to the Koran," Eliasson said. Their first interpretation insisted "that if a man breaks into his neighbor's house he is to be punished." They compared the war to this situation, and wanted the soldiers to get twenty lashes and the officers to get forty. But rather than argue the point, we had an expert on our team who spent the night looking up various other possible references in the Koran. By the following morning he returned exhausted but happy.
He found a reference that said if the enemy turns his back at you in retreat, you should not attack him. "This was exactly the situation we had in mind, and when we read that out the following morning, the whole atmosphere changed. It went from skepticism, to smiles around the table, to picking up their pocket Korans and nodding," Eliasson recalls.

The solution they reached saved hundreds of thousands of lives and stitched back communities that had been torn apart. This is a very key takeaway that we need to consider in our negotiations both in business and in life.

You Can't Just Start Over

When people have been in conflict, they don't just want to go back to the way things were prior to the conflict. In order for trust to be established, you must clearly express that you understand them on a very deep level and you must demonstrate respect for their view of the world. What are the traditions in their life that drive their value system? Which beliefs are they really passionate about? As is evident from Jan Eliasson's story, the results of this kind of conflict resolution can last a lifetime: "I remember one of those revolutionaries embracing me to such a degree that I can still feel his beard on my chin."

You can watch the video version of my interview with Jan Eliasson on YouTube.

Have you ever heard of people who are against innovation? Of course not! It's a sexy thing to talk about. So why is it that most companies cannot innovate? If everybody's supposedly in favor of it, why can't 9 out of 10 companies do it?

The Dirty Little Secret About Innovation

As Ingvar Kamprad, the founder of IKEA, and, according to Forbes, the 4th richest person in the world, told me: "There are many people who don't like to take risks. When something goes wrong, everyone is eager to blame one another. But only people who sleep don't take risks. There are few people on earth who have made as many mistakes as me. But it's a question of having the possibility to correct the mistake you have made. At IKEA, we're always allowed to makes mistakes and we do. Too many, everyday."

Here are two really important points to take away from what Ingvar Kamprad said:

BLAME KILLS INNOVATION

1. Firstly, you have to make it safe for your people to innovate. Too often when people have failures, they get criticized. People learn really quickly that you didn't truly want them to innovate if every attempt that fails is punished.

THE ENVIRONMENT ALWAYS WINS

2. When we create an environment where experiments take place, where there's a whole process, procedure and reward system for innovation--lots of small wins and losses--that's exactly what we get from our people.

So take risks, be creative, and kill the blame game if you really want your team to innovate. As the 80-year old entrepreneur himself insists:

"Without fiascos, you will never succeed!"

Check out the video version of my interview with Ingvar Kamprad below:

We're finding that the most successful entrepreneurs are the ones who imagine themselves as an investor in their client's business. Rather than just thinking about how you're going to move inventory or sell your products, your first priority should be a shift to thinking of yourself as a partner in your client's company. What if you were an owner and had your hard-earned money buried in their business? How would you make them successful?

This morning I spoke to Bill Haack, whose company Zywave provides software for insurance brokers. I was a keynote at their conference for America's top brokers this past spring. "The transaction is important to what brokers do," Haack said. "But the intangibles--decision-making assistance and personal service--are what really differentiate the best companies."

Haack spent a large part of his business life as a broker, which is much of what inspired Zywave in the first place. "In a challenging market like this one, some players are discouraged and some opportunistic. But if you're a broker, nothing is better than competing against a demoralized broker. You don't find the opportunities in markets like these unless you have an attitude that allows you to find those opportunities."

The secret to success is to understand that the current economic tumult isn't about you: it's about your customer. Businesses that make their business a factor in their client's profitability are gaining more share today than at any other point in history.

In our research of the world's most successful people, one of the biggest surprises for me is that winners don't try to win at everything. They don't sweat excellence at everything they do--they focus on winning those few things that really matter. They don't waste time trying to be all things to all people. I asked Lance Armstrong not just how you win one race, but how you win every year as an athlete with the shadow of age and death hanging overhead. No one has won more Tour de France victories.

Being Open to Change: Lance's Strategy to Win!

focus is the tour. It's an event that changes every year. It's never the same. The distance changes, the mountain passes change...different feel, different character. That's why they present it in October and that's when we start to think about it. Maybe this year they've given us two extra uphill finishes. We have to alter everything we do, all of our training, to fit that."

Consistency & Insanely Hard Workouts:

His first principle was "consistency." Lance said most riders simply "don't do the work necessary" throughout the year. When I asked him whether he had always trained that way, he shrugged and smiled: "No, I didn't!" It only happened after the illness when he thought he had nothing to lose. That's when he decided to change his strategy: train all year and engage in insanely hard workouts. "I personally just learned to be more focused and more dedicated to my job, to my sport." He smiled widely again and said: "Obviously, it's worked out okay so far!"

Check out the video version of my interview with Lance Armstrong below:

*By the way, if you're looking for a great workout, I love the stuff at WebMD. They may not be as insane as what Lance does, but they're consistent and help you get results. I'm no athlete, but I find that I'm much smarter, faster and more relaxed at those few things I do well when I've had a good workout.

Today, I voted for my favorite micro-entrepreneurs at Entrepreneur.com--I think you'll find it fascinating! The stories of rags to riches reminded me of my visit with Tony Hsieh of Zappos in Vegas when the merger with Amazon was being wildly trumpeted--you'll particularly enjoy the CNET coverage. I asked Tony Hiseh to tell me about a time when he thought he was on the brink of bankruptcy. Every entrepreneur has been there.

This is his answer:

"In the first probably four or five years there were many times when we thought we couldn't make the next payroll," he shared. "Actually...our weekly routine was basically deciding which vendors to pay, and then putting off the others until one week after. There were definitely times we weren't sure if we'd still be around a month later." Whether you visit Southwest Airlines or Virgin, or a 100 of the other entrepreneurs I've met, you'll hear the same story.

So, what ultimately allowed them to succeed?

"A big part of it was that we had so many employees who were so passionate and believed in the long term vision," Tony acknowledged. "Many of them either reduced their pay or worked for free so we could keep going. I think that we learned it's about passion; passion for whatever you're doing." If you're ever in Vegas, it's worth the short, surreal trip to Henderson to take the Zappos company tour. When you walk through the offices of Zappos, you see a wacky, wild variety of those passions leaping from desks and cubicles throughout the company.

Tony has unlocked three drivers that motivate people--the same drivers we found in our research for Success Built to Last.

The Three Ps that Define Success:
Purpose, Passion and Performance

1. He encourages employees to express something unique about their Passions--whether it's clothing or surfing--and make that a part of their work environment.

2. Every employee has the opportunity to opt-out of the company after training--they're offered $2000 to leave. This is a great test of Purpose--do you truly believe in this company? Do you really want to work for this place or not? Less than 1% of employees take the offer.

3. When it comes to your Performance, if your job is to deal with customers, then your incentives are based on your customer service scores. Seems blindingly obvious, right? But you might be surprised at how most call centers rate people more on how fast they dump customers off the phone than how loyal customers are to the company. I met the woman who "proudly" held the record for the longest customer service call in history...I think it was about five hours!

Check out the video version of my interview with Tony on YouTube.