Last week, I sat down with Stanford professor Cliff Nass, an expert on the interactions between humans and computers and author of the new book, The Man Who Lied to His Computer.

I asked him to give us some tips from his book and research that would help us in creating the best possible relationships. Here are his five takeaways:

TAKEAWAY 1: Flattery is Underrated

"Actually, you really want to praise people all the time and minimize criticism as much as possible. People are suckers for flattery but they're not suckers for praise. We found that if you praise frequently, people will not only think they're better, more importantly, they'll think that you’re smarter and better too."

TAKEAWAY 2: Be Consistent

"We found that birds of a feather do flock together, people do like what’s like them. But it’s a disaster to try to be half one way and half another. Inconsistency is the single most dangerous, untrustworthy thing a person can do.”

TAKEAWAY 3: We Need Each Other to Succeed

"Most team building exercises, we discovered, don’t work because most people don’t understand what’s actually important about teams. What's most important in building teams is identification and interdependence: we need each other to succeed."

TAKEAWAY 4: Use Active Listening

“Negative emotions have to be handled properly in the office. We can’t just let people vent. Instead we have to use active listening, and reflect what people tell us back to them. That way they can use the negative experience as an opportunity to make themselves look better."

TAKEAWAY 5: Persuasion=Expertise and Persuasion

"To persuade, you really only have to focus on two things: expertise, proving that you know what you’re talking about, and being trustworthy, proving that you care. These do, however, have to be traded off. Sometimes it’s better to be more of an expert and less trustworthy, other times it’s better to be more trustworthy and less of an expert."

Watch the video versions of my talk with Cliff below:

“Competition doesn’t kill companies—-most firms actually get in their own way,” says serial entrepreneur and venture capitalist Jack Jia.

During our recent trip together to the French countryside (below), Jack shared the story of one of his earlier startups, where he headed engineering.

“We were running short of cash and working 24/7 on our software product in a rundown building. Someone went into the kitchen to use the microwave. The fuse popped and the lights went out,” he sighed.

The computers went dead and much of their precious data was corrupted. Exhausted and frustrated, they lost focus on their plan and started fighting with each other over meaningless details. Political battles ensued, draining scarce time and resources.

Just before they ran out of money, they called an all-hands meeting. “We laid all the problems out on the table and invited each team member to contribute ideas and, most important, to re-commit to their individual role in our overall plan,” he said.

“Ultimately, one person must be accountable for each and every specific project outcome. That not only reduces the chaos, it also creates more motivation for people when they know they own—and can take credit and responsibility—for their own results.”

Finally, a venture capitalist arrived to look at investing in their company. As the VC peered over an engineer’s shoulder to watch a software demo, the investor suddenly reached down to the electric socket and pulled the plug—-literally! The VC didn’t want to invest in software that was vulnerable to a crash.

“Fortunately, when we turned the machine back on, the software worked perfectly,” Jia said. “If the VC had done that two weeks earlier, we would have failed his test and ran out of cash. Execution is all about each player’s ownership of the plan!”

Within three years, the company listed on Nasdaq and was worth over $7 billion soon thereafter.

Michael Lee Stallard, CEO of E Pluribus Partners and primary author of the book Fired Up or Burned Out, experienced the first panic attack of his life upon hearing that his wife had been diagnosed with cancer.

"I was in this waiting room in the hospital with my two young daughters," he recalled. "And eventually the doctor said that my wife Katy had ovarian cancer and that it had spread."

But instead of allowing the fear and anxiety to take over, Michael and his family reached out to their community for support--and it made all the difference.

"I set a lot of my business and work aside during that season because I knew we had to focus on Katy," he told me. "We received this outpouring of affection. Those connections and relationships really helped us get through that very difficult time and we actually surprisingly experienced a lot of joy during a period that could be filled with a lot of anxiety."

In assembling a medical team to help heal Katy, Michael and his family surrounded themselves with the same type of people: those that cared deeply.

"I did a lot of research and found one of the best teams in the world for ovarian cancer. I chose them first for a very rational reason: they were extremely competent," Michael explained. "But the second part of my choice was in knowing they cared. I could feel it and that made all the difference. At the end of the day, I was so much more optimistic knowing that we had a team behind us that cared for Katy and our family. It really made me feel we could get through it."

Today, Michael and his family are happy to say that Katy is cancer free and doing great. His story is a wonderful reminder that leadership is about caring and connection.

Watch Michael tell his story below:

Encountering rejection on the road to pursuing the things we love is seriously challenging—in fact, it can stop some of us dead in our tracks, causing us to question our vision and purpose.

Feyzi Fatehi, current CEO of Corent Technology, which won the 2009 Emerging Software Company of the Year Award, knows a thing or two about how to bounce back from rejection.

We sat down together in New York City where he shared some great advice on how to overcome failure and stick with your vision until you achieve your goal:

Find People Who Share Your Vision

"Truly believe in your value and bring other people who share that value onto your team."

Don’t Expect People to Understand You Right Away

"You want to be understood when there’s something you’re passionate about. But sometimes, despite using all your communication efforts and intellectual skills, the people you respect just don’t get it. You have to just turn around and take a breath and revive the vision in your mind--then move on."

When You’re Frustrated, Focus on Your Passion

"It’s not about the fact that you go down, it’s about how quickly you can come up. Re-energize yourself and revive your passion and vision."

What Turns Your Lights On?

"You have to identify what you’re really passionate about, what, as a friend of mine says, 'turns your lights on.'"

Be selective: Turn Down Jobs if You’re Not Committed

"The sooner you understand what turns your lights on, the sooner you can say no to certain work opportunities, and say yes to those that turn you into a more inspired person."

Become an Expert: Believe in Your Passion

"Invest in doing the things you’d like to do better—create mastery so doing the things that makes you happy becomes easy."

Check out the video version of my interview with Feyzi below:

Sometimes I feel guilty abandoning work to fulfill dreams with my family. But it's so much better than feeling guilty about not fulfilling dreams with my family--particularly while my daughter is still with us at home.

In this economic environment, everyone is working harder out of necessity. Yet, at the last two funerals I attended this year, I was struck by how the eulogies I heard never made mention of the extra time those departed souls spent in their office. No, the people who mattered most talked about their love for their family, their friends, their community, and perhaps those customers whose lives they may have touched.

When I reached out to friends I've not seen in months to invite them to Bonita's birthday tomorrow, it was eye-opening and heart wrenching to hear from so many people whose lives have been impacted by sudden changes of fate over the past year. My coauthor Brian Tracy is enduring horrible radiation therapy and inspiring everyone with his undaunted enthusiasm for life and work. Another friend is having a thyroid removed; others are fighting cancer of every kind. It felt good to talk to so many people whom I've missed during this busy year, but it was also a warning: Carpe Diem.

Whatever the dream you have for your life or your family, do it now.

When clients sent me to the World Cup to do seminars a few weeks ago, I never hesitated to fulfill a dream I had for my daughter: an African safari. My last trip to Africa 14 years ago included service work for Save the Children, and it resulted in Bonita and I deciding to become parents for the first time--before it was too late. We had been together 20 years and were in our early 40s before deciding to have our first and only child. I couldn't wait for that girl to be old enough to return to the the cradle of life, to see Africa, where so much of humanity was conceived.

In the Bush, there are few animals, particularly prey, who sleep for more than a few minutes at a time. Under those circumstances, the job of life is survival. Unless you've ever been seriously hungry or threatened, it's hard to appreciate how good you have it when you're not worried about your next meal or whether you will be one for someone else.

In the brief video you can watch below, my daughter and I share a moment of our dream. She's been around the world three times with us--we live an extraordinary life.

As Jack London said, I'd 'rather be ashes than dust'.